Happy New Year
It’s that time again – the time we spend reflecting on our past happenings. Some only look at the highlight reel and others choose to dive in – combing through everything in detail. We may all choose a different approach to view things but many of us all have one thing in common – we’re looking for something to fix, change or improve.
As a coach, I fully understand the need for reflection and self-improvement. That being said – I have a love/hate relationship with setting resolutions. I love how they inspire people to think outside their current circumstances. I hate how the process of implementing long lasting change – which is at the root of many resolutions – is boiled down to a “just do it” mentality. Sometimes, it’s just not that simple….
Discipline and Focus
I recently posted a picture with the quote below on my Facebook Page. Take a moment to read the words and let them sync in.
Ditch the resolutions. To resolve means to find a solution to a problem. You are not a problem. The way you showed up for you life the past year was necessary for your growth. Now is a time to reflect. To learn. To create an intention, a positive call to shift, a spark of magic + manifestation rooted in self-love and backed with action.
My favorite part of this quote is “rooted in self-love and backed with action.” Too many times – we jump right to the action and fizzle out. It’s one of the reasons the gyms are full in January but empty by mid-February. When we fail, our inner dialogue begins to question why we weren’t disciplined or focused enough to hit the mark. I recently heard a statistic that 92% of those that set resolutions fail. Are there seriously that many people in this world that lack discipline and focus? No, I don’t think so…
A Big Reason for Failing
I’ve coached too many driven and accomplished people to know that the statistic above is not due to a lack of discipline or focus. I’ve sat across the table from individuals that have created successful companies, built incredible families and tackled challenges that you can’t even imagine. Their discipline and focus are almost never a topic of conversation. What is? Their ability to look in the mirror and love/accept the person staring back at them. You risk failure at accomplishing the goals that mean the most to you if they are not rooted in self-love….if you don’t feel worthy of them. Read that again and put some emphasis on “that mean the most to YOU.” It doesn’t read that mean the most to your clients…boss…kids…partner, etc.
Self-Love Isn’t Selfish
Now, don’t get me wrong – I’m not saying those mentioned above don’t matter because they absolutely do. The challenge is when we constantly sacrifice our well being for them. Its when we become conditioned to automatically deprioritize our needs to meet theirs. Self-sacrifice may feel good at first but it will take a toll. It will begin to show up in the form of exhaustion, frustration and broken resolutions.
I always encourage clients (and myself) to visualize a world in which they are firing on all cylinders. They’ve taken care of what fuels them and are now paying that energy forward. What does that look like? It doesn’t look selfish. It looks like showing up in this world as the best version of you and when that happens…everyone in your community wins…and resolutions might just have a better chance of being kept.